New Year Limericks 2 January 2015
MonkeyJammas goaded PeterKelly and challenged him to write a limerick.
MonkeyJammas 02 January 2015 5:43pm
Goad to PK
Remiss of New Year's resolution
I offer this humble solution.
When push comes to shove
The Lord from above
Cares nowt about one's absolution!
This got the ball rolling and a stream of bum biting poetry followed. A good way to start the year.
peterkelly
02 January 2015 7:49pm
Ode to the Quick Toaster
There once was a QCC poster,
At midnight he jumped in the toaster,
He said, "I was in it,
For only one minute,"
But some say he's only a boaster.
"You must have been in there a while,
Or pressed the 'eject', - Oh, how vile!"
But who knows for sure?
I don't care any more,
Let's just eat the toast with a smile.
02 January 2015 7:49pm
Ode to the Quick Toaster
There once was a QCC poster,
At midnight he jumped in the toaster,
He said, "I was in it,
For only one minute,"
But some say he's only a boaster.
"You must have been in there a while,
Or pressed the 'eject', - Oh, how vile!"
But who knows for sure?
I don't care any more,
Let's just eat the toast with a smile.
Crucigrama peterkelly
02 January 2015 8:11pm
But before we'd had much time to settle,
That boaster jumped into the kettle,
Said, "That toaster's hot
But wet it was not,
Now I'm hot and I'm wet, such fine fettle!"
02 January 2015 8:11pm
But before we'd had much time to settle,
That boaster jumped into the kettle,
Said, "That toaster's hot
But wet it was not,
Now I'm hot and I'm wet, such fine fettle!"
peterkelly Crucigrama
02 January 2015 8:21pm
The rest of the posters said, "Hush!
You see the result of your rush?
You're no longer crisp,
And you've stuck to the dish,
And all of your crust's turned to mush."
02 January 2015 8:21pm
The rest of the posters said, "Hush!
You see the result of your rush?
You're no longer crisp,
And you've stuck to the dish,
And all of your crust's turned to mush."
deelfi62 peterkelly
02 January 2015 8:23pm
And then he leapt into a pan
And quickly out again ran
Saying "one minute or two
Just what shalI I do?
I'd better cool down with a fan".
02 January 2015 8:23pm
And then he leapt into a pan
And quickly out again ran
Saying "one minute or two
Just what shalI I do?
I'd better cool down with a fan".
spanishscot deelfi62
02 January 2015 8:34pm
But after toaster and kettle and pan
he felt that he needed a plan.
The Dark Side was calling
but it was a bit boring
so he jumped into a frying pan
02 January 2015 8:34pm
But after toaster and kettle and pan
he felt that he needed a plan.
The Dark Side was calling
but it was a bit boring
so he jumped into a frying pan
Crucigrama deelfi62
So saying, this diamond geezer
Jumped into Chef's giant chest freezer,
Now his crust is of ice
And he smells rather nice,
Crowned with bay leaves, like Julius Caesar!
So saying, this diamond geezer
Jumped into Chef's giant chest freezer,
Now his crust is of ice
And he smells rather nice,
Crowned with bay leaves, like Julius Caesar!
Crucigrama spanishscot
02 January 2015 9:08pm
From the frying pan into the fire,
Where his prospects were looking quite dire,
Then he came in a daze,
Begged a seat on the chaise,
But no chance, in such sooty attire.
02 January 2015 9:08pm
From the frying pan into the fire,
Where his prospects were looking quite dire,
Then he came in a daze,
Begged a seat on the chaise,
But no chance, in such sooty attire.
deelfi62 Crucigrama
02 January 2015 9:17pm
"Why not on the chaise?" he said
"It's like a sunbed alongside the Med"
But everyone frowned
So he turned himself round
And took himself off to his bed.
02 January 2015 9:17pm
"Why not on the chaise?" he said
"It's like a sunbed alongside the Med"
But everyone frowned
So he turned himself round
And took himself off to his bed.
peterkelly Crucigrama
02 January 2015 9:17pm
This chap has been caught in a blaze!
I feel we should do as he says,
I know he's quite black,
And all singed down the back,
But give him a lie on the chaise.
02 January 2015 9:17pm
This chap has been caught in a blaze!
I feel we should do as he says,
I know he's quite black,
And all singed down the back,
But give him a lie on the chaise.
spanishscot peterkelly
02 January 2015 9:26pm
I think MrsM will agree
we cannot accept his plea.
The chaise will be ruined
it will be his doing
and then to the Dark Side he'll flee
02 January 2015 9:26pm
I think MrsM will agree
we cannot accept his plea.
The chaise will be ruined
it will be his doing
and then to the Dark Side he'll flee
peterkelly spanishscot
02 January 2015 9:34pm
But he knows the hardest solutions,
So let him perform some ablutions,
He'll clean off the muck,
And assist when you're stuck,
You'll never regret the intrusion.
02 January 2015 9:34pm
But he knows the hardest solutions,
So let him perform some ablutions,
He'll clean off the muck,
And assist when you're stuck,
You'll never regret the intrusion.
mrsmatisse spanishscot
02 January 2015 9:38pm
Completly agreed
May he take to his steed
The chaise 'tis beyond chaste
And to morons
is mere malaise.......
02 January 2015 9:38pm
Completly agreed
May he take to his steed
The chaise 'tis beyond chaste
And to morons
is mere malaise.......
peterkelly mrsmatisse
02 January 2015 9:48pm
I must say, you're very hard-hearted,
He wishes he never had started,
You could have been first,
Clues all solved in a burst!
But now he has sadly departed.
02 January 2015 9:48pm
I must say, you're very hard-hearted,
He wishes he never had started,
You could have been first,
Clues all solved in a burst!
But now he has sadly departed.
spanishscot peterkelly
02 January 2015 9:57pm
I confess that it sounds quite appealing
being first will give you a warm feeling
but our chaises are sacred
without them, we are naked
so I have to decline his pleading
02 January 2015 9:57pm
I confess that it sounds quite appealing
being first will give you a warm feeling
but our chaises are sacred
without them, we are naked
so I have to decline his pleading
mrsmatisse peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:03pm
Me thinks you have lost the point
What makes you think we have more to appoint?
Our divans are secured
No place for demure
As some have stripped naked
Already
02 January 2015 10:03pm
Me thinks you have lost the point
What makes you think we have more to appoint?
Our divans are secured
No place for demure
As some have stripped naked
Already
peterkelly mrsmatisse
02 January 2015 10:05pm
He slopes like a dog to the door,
He sees he is welcome no more,
His crosswording magic,
Is spurned, Oh, how tragic,
A blessing ? Then what was it for?
02 January 2015 10:05pm
He slopes like a dog to the door,
He sees he is welcome no more,
His crosswording magic,
Is spurned, Oh, how tragic,
A blessing ? Then what was it for?
mrsmatisse peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:13pm
Oh come on darling....
....I've saved a warm spot at the bottom
May you not feel
You've been forgotten
And
The philosopher says
It's all in the spays....
02 January 2015 10:13pm
Oh come on darling....
....I've saved a warm spot at the bottom
May you not feel
You've been forgotten
And
The philosopher says
It's all in the spays....
peterkelly peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:13pm
Sorry, must go...been called to the pub.
02 January 2015 10:13pm
Sorry, must go...been called to the pub.
mrsmatisse peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:19pm
Wot?
You philosophers all lack substance.
02 January 2015 10:19pm
Wot?
You philosophers all lack substance.
spanishscot peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:22pm
There is virtue in knowing one's place
and his, certainly is not on the chaise.
A wizard with words he may be
and finish the crossword with glee
but our divans require some grace
spanishscot peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:27pm
We were getting quite good at this rhyming
our meter had just perfect timing
Then he's off to the pub.
That's what I call a snub
I feel standards are really declining
02 January 2015 10:22pm
There is virtue in knowing one's place
and his, certainly is not on the chaise.
A wizard with words he may be
and finish the crossword with glee
but our divans require some grace
spanishscot peterkelly
02 January 2015 10:27pm
We were getting quite good at this rhyming
our meter had just perfect timing
Then he's off to the pub.
That's what I call a snub
I feel standards are really declining
Crucigrama
02 January 2015 10:27pm
Oh Pish to outpourings of sorrow,
We know he'll be back on the morrow!
All bright-eyed, he'll shrug,
Show his mug in the snug,
And still know his Thor from his Thoreau.
02 January 2015 10:27pm
Oh Pish to outpourings of sorrow,
We know he'll be back on the morrow!
All bright-eyed, he'll shrug,
Show his mug in the snug,
And still know his Thor from his Thoreau.
MonkeyJammas
02 January 2015 10:42pm
When musing a Limmo don't worry
If worms come out all in a flurry.
We'er sixes or sevens
Just pray to the heavens
And hope they'll read on in a very short time without scanning the exact prose to check if it does indeed adhere to the basic meter and, better still, makes a credibile story.
02 January 2015 10:42pm
When musing a Limmo don't worry
If worms come out all in a flurry.
We'er sixes or sevens
Just pray to the heavens
And hope they'll read on in a very short time without scanning the exact prose to check if it does indeed adhere to the basic meter and, better still, makes a credibile story.