Zhooshmariah's Tails
Here are selected posts of dear Zhoosh and the tails of life and tribulations with mother Freedom and Uncle Jules.
PLEASE NOTE: If you click on the date it will take you to the Guardian Quick crossword of the day the comment refers to.
Here are selected posts of dear Zhoosh and the tails of life and tribulations with mother Freedom and Uncle Jules.
PLEASE NOTE: If you click on the date it will take you to the Guardian Quick crossword of the day the comment refers to.
29/01/2016
Hello. New here I see. Me too. What's for lunch?
I love Jane Austiin films, especially Kempton Park. I got a box set one Christmas that kept me going. But I have to say I've never got on with any of her books. I've tried, but they do go on a bit, and all seem a bit samey. Are they worth the trouble, do you think? I only ask because I've still got some Danielle Steeles waiting to be read. And she's good.
31 Jan 2016 12:08
In response to LondonBBG
Years ago I remember them gathering of a night time in the trees in Leicester Square. Pigeons were on all the buildings around Trafalgar, and the starlings over the back. And there was sparrows everywhere.
Thank you for your welcome, LondonBBG, and for your guidance on Jane Austin. I think I should make more effort. Your grandma's set are old, so she has clearly been popular for a long while (I mean Jane Austin, but maybe your grandma too!) That was only my second post here and you took the trouble to answer it. I was very touched.
3 Feb 2016 12:07
In response to civsum
It is funny how these things happen but I got everything right! Perhaps you are having a bad hair day. I often do!
You say you write poetry? I love poetry myself which I think must come from my mother who always read to us as children from her collection of little Books of Friendship by Patience Strong. I can picture them, with their dark mauve covers and a garland of flowers. She maintained we would be 20 across by it. I once had a go myself and sent my effort off to a weekly magazine. I got £25 for it! Have you had any luck with yours? I must say it was brave to try and use 10 across in a poem as there are'nt many words that rhyme with it that I can think of.
I am new here but hope I wo' nt be fleeting. I am trying to make friends.
Well, as Scarlett said, Tomorrow is another day and I hope your luck improves, though in America you have to wait longer than we do for tomorrow to get here.
4 Feb 2016 13:24
In response to DrTeo24
Dear Doctor,
I am what they call a newbie here. I don't much care for that word, but my mother who was named named Freedom after her mother before her, taught me that in life we have to shrug off a lot of things. I shall now speak as I find. That for a long while I was very hesitant about opening my mouth, but plucking up the courage and having done it I was welcomed with open arms to so many bosoms. I make no bones, I am wanting friendly smiling faces in my life and I am finding them here! And do you know what? In just one week I have learnt about so many things! I can now change kilometers into miles, I am getting to grips with apostrophe commas, and now know that Kempton Park is not the name of something by Jane Austin. I do'nt know where I got that from. I have learnt that some people can get a clue from learning Latin though I got it from my Uncle Virgils' middle name and there is someone in America who writes poetry but who does'nt know the end is nigh. So come here til I embrace you. By the way do you work for the NHS? My cousin is a midwife. I have to say I would not like to be treated by you, but you might find comfort here in the days to come.
Sorry everyone else but I had to get it off my chest and I hope I haven't said too much.
2 Mar 2016 11:47
Hello again everyone, I'am glad that everything is nearly back to normal so here I'am! The Rally planned for the 8th of February was blown away by Hurricane Imogen. By the time we got to the Kingdom Hall all the bunting was in tatters and the banners torn to shreds and a lot of the singers and the main speaker could'nt get there at all. So we had no option but to cancel which was a shame because I don't like seeing good food going to waste, not to mention all that rehearsing. You don't like seeing the children disappointed either.
But the Good News is that The Rally has now taken place over the weekend just gone, and the last of the Cousins that have been staying with us since the beginning of February have now departed. The Rally was wonderful, but you can have enough of Cousins, though it is wrong of me to say so. And that is why I have been so busy.
29 Apr 2016 10:18
But the Good News is a letter came in the post this morning finally giving us the permission that we have been fighting for to hold a rally on the grass opposite the Scottish Parliament next week, when our group brings The Good News to Glasgow and Edinburgh. It will be most of the day on Thursday 5th, but it means that we will be free to join the Crossword Gathering for a couple of hours in the evening which I am already excited about. Uncle Jules will be driving the minibus up, and my mother Freedom will also be coming, so I hope we will all be welcome because they have the Answer when I am often in Doubt, but such is Life. I will contact you LadyScot to find out where we have to come on your websight, but thought I would say it here because I would like to invite everyone to our Rally if they would like to come. There will be cold chicken sandwiches cakes and biscuits and such like and afterwards I can bring any leftovers to your party.
I hope its' all allright. And do'nt worry about the fancy dress, because we will come in our uniforms and bring our free literature.
29 Apr 2016 20:11
In response to spanishscot
Dear LadyScot, Thank you for your openheartedness and your generosity that knows no bounds. I hope that I will fit in, and discover kindred spirits because I quite enjoy a drink once I am off duty.
Uncle Jules can be very entertaining, especially once he gets going on his brushes with the police. He is not allowed out after dark at the moment, so I was wondering if we could possibly stay the night, and I have told my mother to wear her fur coat as she does feel the cold. May you be greatly rewarded dear lady.
29 Apr 2016 23:32
In response to spanishscot
No worries, dear Lady. There will be tents put up Arthurs' seat and sleeping bags there. We shall just have to watch how much Uncle Jules has to drink and make sure he does'nt draw attention to himself on the way back along the Golden Mile
9 May 2016 10:33
My Dear LadyScot,
I am so sorry to have missed all your fun and not able to explain until now, you must think I am very rude. I have to tell you we have just got home in the small hours and this is my first time near a computer as the police have got all our mobile phones and other devices. We did'nt get to Edinburgh in the end because you might not be surprised to hear there was a spot of bother in Glasgow which does have a bit of a name, and everything went wrong. There was a big turnout in Saucyhall Street to hear our Good News with a lot of shouting which was mostly friendly but it then turned nasty. Someone in the crowd threw something that hit Freedom and a young man punched her. Uncle Jules took a swing at him and knocked him to the ground and that was that. He was taken off in a police van with handcuffs shouting and LAUGHING that he was only fighting for Freedom and the other man went off in an ambulance.
I wish Uncle Jules did'nt have to turn everything into a joke though he has now been aloud to come home. We shall all have to go back to Glasgow again when his case comes up so I am wondering if we can cut our losses and meet you when we do. In the meantime Dear Lady I can only say how sorry we were to miss you and everyone else and hope it did'nt ruin your party as I am sure you were looking forward to meeting us as much as we were you. So l shall end on a note of Great Hope and say until the next time, zhooshmariah
25 Jul 2016 16:20
Dear LadyScot, I hope you are well but I have lost your email address in the upheaval of the past weeks so the only way is write you here and hope for an answer.
I am sorry for the long silence but what with the Brexit and all the rallies we went to to try and stop it, and all the terrible lies, and more lies and we still lost. My heart is broken. They are always saying on the news There are lessons to be learnt about this that and the other, but do you really think anyone has learnt any lessons or is it just what they say? I dare'nt tell you what I think because after the vote Uncle Jules got hate mail, and our house has been targetted.
Uncle Jules's case comes up in court in Glasgow in August, and we are all having to go. So I am wondering if we will be able to meet you when it does because his behaviour stopped us getting to your gathering in May. He might be sent down but we pray not.
Rest assured dear LadyScot Uncle Juleses behaviour is very often beyond the close nitness of our family but we must support him as a black sheep.
26 Jul 2016 08:11
Good morning Mrs Scot and thank you for your tips yesterday which i do'nt think will work because a lot of people have already come forward with videos of it on their mobiles. The prospects are not good either because Uncle Jules is refusing to get a proper lawyer and says he intends to defend himself in court, with his bare fists if necessary. I really ca'nt see him leaving Scotland with us unless a miracle happens. So if we manage to get to your gathering at least he wo'nt be keeping you awake half the night with his singing. What with that and this hot weather and my swollen ankles life is a trial. I hope I am not unburdening too much onto your bosom. I shall now go and look at the crossword as it is sure to take my mind off things and make me feel a lot better
5 Aug 2016 02:12
This was hard for me because the name Dylan Thomas does'nt mean anything though I do listen to a lot of plays on the wireless when I'm working down at the kitchens.
Its going to be a long night here with all the singing thats going on so I do'nt suppose anyone will be getting much sleep which is why I am still up. Because Uncle Jules has been on a bender and has brought back a number of friends and they are now downstairs making a lot of noise. The last time that happened there were complaints and police were involved. I do'nt want it to come to that again tonight as it could go against him, so we are having to keep the windows closed. If I am honest I shall be glad when the Glasgow business is all over because Uncle has been living with us since his release from the previous lot of trouble. We took him in because blood is thicker than water but it is a strain on everyones nerves at times like when your children do'nt leave home. But something may come of it because we are all going to Scotland for the court case and if Goodness and Mercy prevails we will also get to Lady Scotts small gathering. We hope and pray, and I am thankful my ankles have gone down so should be able to manage the stairs
5 Aug 2016 10:00
In response to WolfHome
Good morning WoolfHome. It looks as though you were up half the night as well so I was not alone in the Darkness. But I shall not be taking your advice because you do'nt seem to understand that Uncle Jules is family and what that means. Families have history and he was very good to my mother Freedom when she had troubles and he took us in with an open heart when we were children and my mother could not cope. I can not stand by now and say he must be locked up for my benefit. What good would that do. There is only One who can sit in Judgment over us and I believe my Uncle deserves a fair hearing when that day comes.
But right now the Storm has passed the singers are all asleep and the house is peaceful so I wish you joy and compassion in your life today.
Thank you for taking the trouble with Dylan Thomas. He seems Uncle Juleses kind of man. I am sure they would have hit it off. Also your advice about the Scott Ladies steps though I did once climb to the top of Saint Pauls when my inhaler was in my other bag.
17 Aug 2016 10:48
Thank the Lord for an easy crossword full of happy words though we could'nt get them all. We have so much to do these days because it is less than a week now that Uncle Jules is up in court and I have had to hire a full size coach to get all the supporters to Glasgow.
I hope that wo't be too many for your gathering dear lady Scott.
25 Aug 2016 08:55
Good morning elizabethdavid and I am sorry I did not answer you yesterday as there was uproar and we had to make a quick get away. I am sorry if that put a flea up your skirt.
But the answer is both. A lot of the evidence against Uncle Jules turned out to be inadmittable and had to be dropped so the Judge said there was no real proof and had no choice. So under the law here which is different Jules was dismissed by the Lord and was aloud to go Scott Free. But as he was being lead out he punched the air and shouted that it was one in the eye for Freedom who is my mother. We thought after that we might have to go back but it turned out all right in the end. We have now set up the soup kitchen on some waist ground in Leith which is not far from the Scottish Assembly and we shall be looking for it this afternoon.
I have my mothers' receipt for the best jerk chicken which you could put in your next book if you like and I had no problem with the crossword today
27 Aug 2016 10:57
Dear Lady Scott How sorry we all are to have missed your gathering once again but there was a lot of security people at the Scottish Assemby and they would'nt let us in. So near and yet so far.but do'nt give up hope because next time it could be third time lucky.
When we got home there was a silver lining and the two books by Jayne Austin that Uncle Jules ordered off the internet from somewhere in Holland had come. One is Sex and Sexuality and one is called Perversion. People say her stories are good so Uncle Jules says he will pass them on to me once he has done with them. He also says we should send off for some of Emilie Zolas books who is french but I am not sure if Uncle Jules is to be trusted. I would like to know a bit more about her. Does anyone read them nowadays?
11 Jan 2017 12:21
I hope its still alright and not too late for wishing everyone a Happy New Year which is going to be a good one for us all because 2017 is one of those primeaval numbers not like 2016 that just got worse and worse.
We are still celebrating having Uncle Jules back home because so much time got taken up with visiting not helped because they kept moving him. Parkhurst is not on our doorstep or any of the other places he was in, so today as Uncle Jules says 11 and 1 are also primeaval numbers he is going out on his own to buy scrarch cards because there is more chance of winning. I do'nt believe in gamboling and I would sooner give my money away than throw it away like that. Here is a song that Uncle Jules has been driving us potty singing all morning but be carefull because it is the answer to one of the clues.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0bidd0Uhvk
Can anyone tell me how to do the blue words you click on please. I would like to know.
11 Jan 2017 14:46
In response to lurkerascending
Hallo lurkerascending yes. He started off in Bellmarsh because they thought he was dangerous but anyone who knows him will tell you there is not an inch of malice in Uncle Jules even though he has a short fuse and got into a fight with some vote leave people who said something to upset him. But Bellmarsh was not the right place so they sent him on to Birmingham but just before Christmas there was trouble there so he ended up on the Isle of Wight which was not easy to get to for visiting. But now he is home wanting his dinner. He has had a couple of wins on the scratch cards and has bought Lottery tickets based on my grandmothers' old coop divvy numbers which could turn out lucky. Uncle Jules is saying he will take them back and ask for his money back if he does'nt win but Im having nothing to do with it as thats the sort of thing that leads to more trouble.
13 Jan 2017 15:21
In response to fyodora
Thank you fyodora. I am glad that is the only thing I got wrong. Would HAVE would HAVE would HAVE. I should of known that. I shall write it out a hundred times.
15 Mar 2017 11:03
In response to chrissyk
Good Morning chrissyK or the top of it to you as the Irish cousins say who will now be on the train to Cheltenham. They have gone looking for crack and I hope they do'nt get into trouble but they have all got their shillelaghs so should be all right. Last year there was terrible trouble when people weed in their beer glasses and it got in the news. I have told them if they stick with guinness they should be all right. My mother Freedom has told Uncle Jules he can have whats left of the winnings after the fire water to put it all on something today because she says the Spirit has come to us and must be aloud to stay. So Uncle Jules has gone to the bookmakers for the morning and the house is quiet, I have only just taken mother her tea, but I am not sure what we shall have to eat today. Is your neighbour the farmer or the owner of all the hamburger places? I hope you get on with him as we get lots of complaints from ours here, especially when we are joyful like last night.
16 Mar 2017 10:24
Good morning. Uncle Jules keeps laughing at 13 across and says if you say it a bit different it is a rude word but me and my mother ca'nt see what there is to laugh at as they are to be pitted, not laughed at.
But I must get my skates on as the Spirit is still with us and Uncle Jules picked another winner yesterday in the three thirty. It was the queen mother steaks so he put the money on Special Tiara that won which had it been me I would of gone for My God who did'nt. So we are all very exited and Uncle Jules says we must put our faith in him again today.
The Irish cousins did'nt come back from Cheltenham last night but it is a long way and they would of had to cross Birmingham and they might still be there though we have'nt heard. I cooked them all dinner but it is still on the stove, and I am a bit worried as they might of had their mobile phones taken off them so how would we know?
I have got a special message for kath66 about did I know of famous goats, well yes I do because Virginia Wolfs nickname in the family was The Goat which was very unkind of them because she could'nt help being who she was. The letters to her sister Vanessa were sometimes signed Billy, so perhaps Virginia did'nt mind too much after all. I hope she did'nt.
So if you ask me I think it is better to have your goat got not your sheep
1 Apr 2017 17:41
Good afternoon. We got back from the market by dinner time and did the crossword alright except for some of them. 1 down was easyest because it is on our list of names. We have been reading all the comments ever since but many are 4 down which I hope is not a spoiler. But now I have to confess that I have just clicked on someones up arrow by mistake and I would'nt of done it for all the world. so I have reported the mistake to the moderation people to beg them to take it off on principal as I think it is a serious thing. I am not saying whose as I do'nt want to be hurtful but if you keep an eye on your score and see it go down one you will know it was you and it was me. What a day. The April showers have started bang on time here and our shopping got wet.
3 Apr 2017 11:42
Dear Lady Scott, I am writing this here because I think you deserve a pubic thankyou rather than something in private. Thankyou with all our hearts for being aloud to come to your gathering in May which we are so looking forward to so much. You are a woman of free spirit like my mother so I am sure you will get along like a house on fire. Uncle Jules is also the life and soul of a good party until he has had too much to drink and has to be put to bed but never until the small hours if at all as he can keep it up all night.
We shall be staying with our Brother and Sister Mercy and Angus McDougal in Portobello which cann'nt be far from you so you might already know them. His real name is Anguish but it got changed to Angus after they moved up it being Scotland and easier for them.
I do have a question which is is there space to park a camper van nearby as if not we shall have to come in on the bus and stay the night. The Irish cousins have gone so it will just be the three of us. Do you realize there is exactly one month to go and we are counting the days. Thank you dear lady. You are the Queen of Scotts but I hope your name is not Mary or anything like it.
13 Apr 2017 12:45
Happy Monday Thursday to all Good people. I do'nt know how it got the name Monday Thursday but Uncle Jules says it is so we can turn the days back by three and drink more rum though he does'nt always tell the truth. I expect someone like William will know the answer. Uncle Jules has gone down the benefits office because he says he is probably entitled to a special Monday Thursday payment from the Queen which he has never claimed in his life and he is hoping they will pay all the arrears that must be owing to him by now. I hope there wo'nt be no trouble.
My mother is getting her bonnet ready for the rally on Sunday as there will be a big crowd of brothers sisters and cousins and it will be about 15 across. I hope that will not spoil the surprise.
15 Apr 2017 11:17
Today we had trouble with 15 across as we ca'nt all be clever and had to cheat that one and found it was a bit like handicaped which I also do'nt like which puts the setter in our Bad Books. My mother is also splitting feathers because we have'nt seen Uncle Jules since Thursday when he went down the benefits office to get his Monday money and has'nt come back. This could mean that he got the money and has gone off to spend it or he did'nt get the money and caused trouble. It also meant that me and my mother were left to sort out Juleses chickens as it is a job Uncle Jules usually does his-self. I did the two hens and Freedom rung his cock with her own bear hands and has ended up with some nasty scratches. We are hoping he turns up soon as people will be getting here later on today and there is a lot to do before the rally. Also will you want us to do the table decorations for youe party Lady Scott. I kindly offered but you have'nt replied though there is no rush dear lady as you know yourself what it is like when you have a lot of people in the house but it could save you some worry.
18 Apr 2017 02:23
I have done this crossword on my own and got 1 accross straight away because a terrible fight has broke out hear and wev'e had to lock Freedom in her room for Uncle Juleses safety. I do'nt know what he said to her but now she is kicking the door and shouting that if she gets her hands on that filthy toe rag shel'l throttle him and I know thats true because my mother is as good as her word and she can 1 accross plus she has had some practise on the chickens.
I hope she does'nt because we need Uncle Jules to drive the camper van up to Scotland qiute soon for Lady Scotts do.
22 Apr 2017 01:35
In response to spanishscot
Dear LadyScott, its' all about my mother who was'nt called Freedom for nothing. And everything wea've had to fight for especially Uncle Jules who is for ever in trouble for it. We have just done the crossword together because three heads are better than none but got three wrong all the same so we could'nt finish it. But tonight we are staying up sewing banners for our rallies which say Let the Start of June be the End of May which no one ca'nt argue with here as its true. We are taking our message up north and then around Scotland. As you know Mercy and Anguish McDonald are going to be putting us up in Portobello, and we are now determined more than ever to count you as a sister. Dear Lady we must let our voices be heard.
4 May 2017 12:51
Good morning dear Lady Scott and wishing you a day full of great joy and happiness. I have to say I should of knew that things would of got gobbled to excess at Scone yesterday and we are now waiting for Uncle Jules to be released and hoping that Freedom will get discharged in time. If not it could be just me this afternoon as most of the others have fled. There was trouble last time we came up here so we shall hope and prey with our fingers crossed as I ca'nt wait to meet you properly dear lady
20 Oct 2018 10:29
This is the first time we have done the crossword propperly in ages. After my mother got the truth out of Uncle Jules. That he had nicked the books to help us do the puzzles from a shop. My mother Freedom really got her wild up andmarched him back to own up. But the owners was too nice about it. And he got off light as thieving books is a terrible sin from innocent people. Though they did thank my mother for her panes. And I am now doing afternoon classes twice a week on improving you’re writting skills. Last week we mastered the Full Stop. Plus it gets me out the house. This morning we are on a coach to London. And Uncle Jules is leading the singing with Wer’e on our way to Wembley wer’e on our way to Wembley. But the organisers are saying its taking us to Hide Park. They will be picking us up somewhere near Westminster which is a bit of a walk
23 Oct 2018 02:48
Back home at last. Thank goodness for the police and the national health. We are to tired to think straight and got a lot wrong. My mother Freedom and Uncle Jules are not speaking again.
23 Nov 2018 01:24
Do not read this if you are still waiting to get one across
Well Uncle Jules is full of expressions of surprises especially when two days ago he went off with all the money in the cussbox that we keep over the fireplace that left my mother splitting feathers. Then he came back later with tickets for us all on a Christmas shopping trip to the Trafford Centre by coach to make up for when we did’nt see Oxford Street when we went to London for the rally as he said that nearly all the money in the cussbox was his anyway. My mother Freedom was so surprised she said well screw me and we all laughed because one it is the answer we were stuck on and two she had to find ten pence for the cussbox which made her a bit cross. I am happy because the Trafford Centre is somewhere new.
9 Dec 2018 01:12
There are signs that our brother Setter made this Crossword specially for us as its got a lot of our kind of words in it and we,ve all but finished it for once my Mother has been shedding tears of joy and has now sat down at the harmonium Uncle Jules has started singing and the people next door have banged on the wall twice I do’nt suppose we wo’nt get much sleep tonight so if they come and knock we shall just invite them in and say it was the crossword as we do’nt want them complaining to the Council
15 Dec 2018 00:43
We are wracking our brains tonight and ca’nt think of anything for undies but that is the least of our worries as we will be catching the coach early in the morning to the Trafford centre, my mother has bought a new hat from the catalogue poeple and Uncle Jules has been sewing big pockets into his old mackintosh as he says they will make it easier than taking proper shopping bags and will hold a lot more as they go right down into the lining, I have been busy doing hard boiled eggs and corn beef rolls I ca’nt wait
17 Dec 2018 10:26
We have had a bit of a lay in this morning that must of done us good as me and my mother have have just finished the puzzle with no help from Uncle Jules after he ruined our day and has still not come back from the Trafford centre, There was a bit of a to do in Pandoras and he slipped out and was the last we saw of him Also my mothers hat got ruined on the way there and we had to throw it away thank’s to the driver who would’nt stop the coach for her on the motorway and ended up shouting even though we had paid good money, I am surprised by the actuall meaning of 21 accross as I would of said it meant places like Canvey island and Sheppey or Frinton but it is always good to live and learn, we are wondering if we will get a call from the police today
20 Dec 2018 00:41
We are not getting very far with this with only two heads on it as Uncle Jules is still missing and it is too hard for just my mother and I
Poeple who know me say that I am a very private person which is why I have not told anyone that I have been going to a poetry writting class on Wendesday afternoons and yesterday we had to read out a poem that I got a clap for, so I wonder if other poeple here would like to read it, there might not be enough or perhaps I just should’nt of mentioned it
21 Dec 2018 00:41
Well some of that was too near my mother Freedoms nuckle for comfort so i will leave it at that and get on with the poem that some of you asked for yesterday it is called A Sonnet on the Big Centenary and I hope you like it it goes like this
Oh let the poeple dance and sing
And let the poeple shout
For Christmas is acoming in
Thats what its’ all about
For up above the Angels
Are strumming on their harps
While down on earth the poeple
Eat roast Turkey or stuffed carps
So let those xmas bells ring out
A ding a ling a ling
And quire boys with open mouths
Get ready now to sing
About that little Baby all wrapped up nice and warm
Laying on all that nasty straw
With a donkey and a yawn
So hang your ball balls on your tree
And let your hearts be glad
And if you do’nt get many presents
Do’nt try and look too sad
Let peace rain down upon us all
And eat drink and be merry
Reach out to our friends and neihgbours too
If they have’nt got no telly
Like they did a hundred years ago the Tommy and the Jerry
by zhooshmariah
May the true meaning of Christmas be amongst us all and fingers crossed for Uncle Jules
1 Jan 2019 11:02
I have not done it today but I hope everyone is here so that I can say a happy new year to you all as my mother Freedom put her foot down last week and has banned the crossword in our house after adultery turned up saying it was more than just extra martial sex but had been written in stone on the mountain and she was not going to allow us to do family puzzles if they were going to be about that sort of thing But this morning she has locked herself in the bathroom for a good soak and is now singing songs about the river jordan so I have quitely plugged in the computer while she is having it I did’nt dare say that year’s ago I got away with extra martial thingummy and was not even married so how can that be. no one would of seen the funny side of it
So happy new year to you all Everyone here accept my mother are having a good time and are staying the full twelve days perhaps longer even though their is not a lot of space and we are all falling over each other.
28 Feb 2019 01:15
Uncle Jules and the others went out after tea and are‘nt back yet so my mother has been filling in the crossword on her own while I have been soaking my feet because she is still upset after FriedFish laughed at her and called her a Madame the day before yesterday how would he like it. But one thing I know is my mother has finished the crossword and got it all right so the laugh is on the other foot and heres how she does it.
First you fill all the boxes with the letter a and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter b in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter c in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter d in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter e in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter f in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter g in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter h in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter i in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter j in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter k in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter l in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter m in all the boxes boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter n in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter o in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter p in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter q in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter r in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter s in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter t in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter u in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter v in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter w in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter x in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter y in all the boxes that are left and then you press check all and then you do the same with the letter z
but you probably wo’nt need to press check all because you will of done it and most times you wo’nt even have to go that far perhaps just 20 times before it is done. So now you know It is a bit like doing embroidery as it needs a lot of Patience, though it is possible to sing while you are doing it. That is my mother Freedoms way so we call it the meFod after her
7 Mar 2019 03:21
Uncle Jules just ca’nt believe his eyes seeing his greatest hero in a crossword puzzle but we have got off to a bad start and there has been a lot of trouble as we had to get the ambulance round about dinner time because one of the cousins would’nt wake up however hard my mother kicked him, but he is all right as he came too on the way to the hospital and started shouting for more drink and now they are saying he has got head injuries, But by the time I got back they had already taken my mother Freedom off and her big indian stick that she says is better than a shotgun for burglers, So the start of lent has been ruined for my mother thouhg I am not sorry about the latty as I have been on the end of it , I hope that is not a spoiler unless you are working backwards, and I still have’nt had my tea yet
we do’nt know what is going to happen
11 Mar 2019 01:07
I had to laugh when I saw 9accross We are glad its Monday and we can start a new leaf, the hospital have sent him home as they are short of beds thouhg he is still a bit groggy, and my mother Freedom has got let off with a good talking to so she is home as well but a bit quiet as they have still got her latty
Then last night it all came out that the cousins hav’nt got enouhg money to get back home so they have begged my mother Freedom to lend them enouhg for the coach down to Cheltenhum instead and a bit extra because the races start tomorrow and they say they can make a fortune on the horses, so my mother has opened her handbag and also made up some sandwiches and a flask to keep them going, Uncle Jules says he is going down with them and try his luck in the crowds thouhg he can pay his own coach fair, It is Uncle Jules I am worried about as he has put on his old mack with the big pockets sewed in, he says it is to keep warm as it’s a long way and they are going down on the night bus and wi’nt be back before Saturday but I am not so sure
16 Mar 2019 01:20
We only got three tonight and two of them was wrong as it looks like 17 accross is not a baker and the Setter is wrong about 14 accross as that is a the name of a bottle of champain and the answe should of been gerbil which I hope is not a spoiler, so my mother has now had to finish it her way even though she has not got over the shock of when she asked me to pass her the missionary box from off of the mantlepeace and found it was empty. Also a lot of things have gone missing from her Julery box so she is really mad and saying just wait untill she gets her hands on the cousins she will do time or even swing for them, thats how mad she is
I hope the Setter will change things when they see their mistake as they sometimes do
17 Mar 2019 02:43
We ended up getting quiet a lot of thie answers before my mother took over but it is not surprising when you think about it
Yesterday afternoon there was a knock at the door and it was the biggest bunch of flowers with a card saying HAD SOME GOOD WINS AND MANEGED TO AVOID THE THREE THAT DIED WER’E IN THE MONEY SO STAYING DOWN HERE TO SEE OUT ST PATRICKS DAY BACK NEXT WEEK X X X but my mother Freedom was not empressed and I have had to beg some vases from the poeple accross the road, I have to say I am not looking forward to when push comes to shove as I am worried that knowing my mother push may well come to shove
20 Mar 2019 01:06
My mother has been biding her time and looking very cross ever since Saturday so we have not long been back from casualty as when she heard the handle of the door go this afternoon she grabbed the flowers and got up on the chair and when they came in gave them all what for, but she should of thouhgt about the vase as she had to go and see the poeple accross the road and offer to pay for a new one, and then we had to get two of them to the hospital after that. But it turns out the missionary box and the julery is nothing to do with them and Uncle Jules has not come home to face the music with them and is staying down in CheItenhum, my mother is still splitting feathers, and I am hopeing that is not a spoiler but I ca’nt just call him Jules
22 Mar 2019 01:07
It was a bit too hard for us tonight as we are all feeling a bit tired, it has been a long day and so we just ended up cheating them all because we could’nt be bothered to guess
I was up the Centre all afternoon for my poetry writing class but as it was Poetry Day we all had to read out loud something we have wrote lately which I did and got a clap for even though it is not finished and has’nt got a name yet
Hear it is
I went up the stairs last night
With my bedtime candles
Holding close the precious Book
To read about Lifes scandles
For those of us who want to lead
A life of truth and joy
The warnings are all clear to heed
For every girl and boy
And all our freinds and cousins
And our uncles and our aunts
And our next door neihgbours and every one
That makes a song and dance
For we are now half way throuhg Lent
No pancakes meat or bells
No glass of pop to cheer us up
No Twixts or Wagonwheels
But we must now trudge on and on
Under Dessert Skies
Untill the Springtime springs on us
And takes us by Surprise
And we will look forward as we rally
Underneath the flags
To hot crossed buns
And all nice things
In my mothers shopping bags
10 Apr 2019 01:14
We have got caught out on 3 accross before and we got it wrong again tonight but we do’nt mind because we have got some Good News for Lady Scott as my mother Freedom put all her pension on a Tiger Rollover which came in first, So we have now found some one in Edinbourough who will have us and have booked it so we will definitely be coming to your Party in May, So is there anything we can bring apart from sandwiches and biscuits including my mothers harmonium if you want as it is good for singing at parties
12 Apr 2019 02:23
Dear Lady Scot me and my mother are over the moon just thinking about Edinbourough and we just ca’nt stop beaming about it until we remember Uncle Jules who is not with us at the moment but is due for release on the 2ND of May so long as he does’nt go and loose his remition so either you or we or he might be lucky or you or we or he might not, I know it is a problem but Uncle Jules is Family and close to my mother Freedoms bosom so it would be an even bigger a problem if he had to sit outside on the doorstep while everyone else are inside enjoying theirselves
I think I have said my peace and hope you will change your mind and hope I have not given away none of the answers thouhg my mother is saying that 12 Down is more to do with a chesty couhg than Uncle Jules
20 Apr 2019 01:19
We are having a bit of a time tonight one way or another what with the new people moving in down the road causing upset all round as they have dogs which they let them bark all hours and get on every bodies nerves and Uncle Jules wanting to put Larma in for 1 down, so me and my mother Freedom have been trying to keep out of it making a new hat for the Meeting in Edinbourouhg as she says her old one wo’nt do, and I trying to finish off a poem for Easter Morning allthough time is running out, but we have now got a good size van to take the harmonium so that means the cousins will be able to come as well which is Good News for Lady Scott as they will be able to help her up with it. I have also been finding out abut Sir Water and wondering if he is related
22 Apr 2019 09:31
I have been busy writting a sonnet that is only meant to be 14 lines long as Shakespear was quiet good at them, I do’nt think he done one on Easter so I thouhgt I would have a go and
I have called it On Cavalry
1 It shocks me now when I look back upon the Days of Your
2 How Easter has just changed so much of that you can be Sure
3 No more the days of penningtons with weepings and a-whalings
4 Instead we get a long weekend of folks a-glued to railings
5 When did the children last paint eggs to put on stoves to boil
6 Instead they stuff theirselves with stuff all wrapped up in tin foil
7 Monday Thursday was always when The Queen was on the News
8 Giving away her money for a nice new pair of shoes
9 And whats’ so Good about Good Friday now hot crossed buns are found
10 In Asdas and Morrisons everywhere the whole year round.
11 So on this Easter Monday we must arise and give our minds
12 To just how different it might of been if our Hearts was less unkind
13 For here on earth the poeple live with Greed and Expectations
14 Where its’ hard to choose between Quality Streets and a box of Celebrations
Words by zhooshmariah and Uplifting music by my mother Freedom
2 May 2019 09:42
It was two hard for us today so we have left my mother to it while we get things ready but at least it is keepimg her quite and out the way, as we are setting of for Scotland this afternoon and we have still got to get the harmonium on the truck plus my mother, while I have still got the samwidges to do, we ca’nt wait and I must’nt forget my tambourine and extra bedding as i think it can be quiet cold up there and I have started on a poem about it all
10 May 2019 08:59
Dear Lady Scott and everyone who was there I just want to say how sorry we was for what happened and hope it did’nt spoil your party too much but as I know you have great largenesse I hope you can swallow the pill but the Good News is we have now got home safe as my mother Freedom was released from the Edinbourouhg Infermery yesterday and we have found out the harmonium can definately be mended,
but they have still got Uncle Jules in custardy so we are hopeing we will be able to say it properly with a bunch of flowers to your face as it looks like we migth have to go back to sort things later
So Once again I am sorry Dear Lady for what happened as I should of wrote sooner but There has not been no time since then not for poetry or even doing the crossword so will end it all here by saying I wish they could make them a bit accept the mormons
17 May 2019 02:32
11 accross has got everyone going again because my mother Freedom is one end of the spectre and Uncle Jules is so far the other end we say he must of made a pack with the devil but he is up in Scotland and not here to argue while I am cauhgt about half way between them and do’nt know what to think as there are things about both that makes my blood boil like the government so I try to keep out of it but when you look at what happened how can you
31 May 2019 00:51
We have not been getting on with these puzzles of late as we have got a lot on our minds more than the sparrows are supposed to and it is now a week gone now since the terrible crime me and my mother might of done but do not know for certain so we have not been answering the door ever since as it might be the police and are now wondering if we should just turn ourselves in as we are now loosing wait over it, and all this has came about because my mother wanted help getting to the Poling Station even thouhg she could of walked it alright and did’nt really need the help as the bandages are still on her hands but have now come off her feet after the terrible accident with the pullies and the window in Edinbourouhg with no afence to you miLadyS as it was not your fault. we are glad the harmonium will be alright even thouhg the tambourine got broke and will need a new one. So what I would like to ask is what are you meant to do when you ca’nnt hold a voting pencil in your hands, and the answer for my mother Freedom who is now going about calling her self miLadyF as is only polite was to put it between her teeth, while some one hold on to the paper in the cubicall . but that was the moment when my hand slipped and the crime might of happened. So what I want to know is where do we stand and if it is alright or do we have a case to answer because of what I might of done. The miLady in charge said she thouhgt it would be alright but wrote a report and on the third hand should we of stayed at home in the first place and not wake the neihgbours dogs up from their basket’s, I feel terrible because we could’nt make are minds up so we both voted for three lots and it has all gone wrong and now we are all in term oil, and the cousins just laugh and are no help at all
9 Jun 2019 02:15
All we can think about is iguana but they are not like rabbits as far as I know so I hope that is not a spoiler for anyone else who is still trying to get it, this crossword is quiet hard enouhg but my mother is saying it would be a lot easier if her throat was’nt so bad after my hand slipped and the pencil went down it in the Poling cubicle, but I am paying for all her Strepsles with my own money so I would of thouhgt she ca’nt complain that much as I was trying to save up for a tambourine The Good News is that Uncle Juleses case comes up in August and as that will be up in Edinbourouhg we are hopeing that someone like dear LadyScott mihgt be able to help us out
13 Jun 2019 01:30
It is funny how sometimes I think the Setter is watching over us with their xray cat eyes and knows just what’s going on and then makes up a puzzle for it, as how else did what we had for tea tonihgt with bake beans and potato and an egg on top with a mashed bannarner afterwards find its way into 8accross so I hope that is’nt a spoiler, and then how did the Setter know we have sometimes done 17downs even with the harmonium unless we was being watched and how I had only just been talking to my freind over the over the phone about Meteros*xuals and the other sort that is in 9accross unless our phone has been taped and they was listening in on us until the battery run out, then 15down is still a dirty word in our house after what happened with the pencil and my mother still has’nt got her voice back and then she come up with the spelling for 14accross as she has only just had a letter throuhg the post about Uncle Jules so it just proves that the Setter has got xray eyes
Normally we would be lauhging about these things but there is nothink to lauhg about tonihgt even though the cousins who are still with us keep asking me if I have ever 5accrossed or been in it and I do’nt know what to say as I do’nt want to get into no trouble
It has done nothing but rain here all day and now there is a big damp patch on the cieling rihgt over my mothers side of the bed which could be the next thing so I think it would be safer if she slept under the bed as we have had trouble with ceilings coming down in the past
I am sorry to unbosom myself like this but sometimes it is hard to bare
17 Jun 2019 01:14
We are finding it quiet hard tonihgt and are really a bit stuck but we are all happy and having a laugh about the Vajazzle and wondering whether the setter really knows what it is but it fits quiet nicely and I have only just found out myself because my mother Freedom is always saying I do’nt need to worry my head about such things but you ca’nt shut the cousins up and I shall be sorry when they go back
The Good News is the damp patch on the cieling over my mothers side of the bed has’nt spread so she has come out from under it and theres a chance of a good nihgts sleep tonihgt once everyone has stopped singing and the neihgbours dog’s have been let in but what can you do when you live somewhere like this
We was interested in reading about Ana Karenina yesterday as she brihgtened up our Sunday but later on after the fishpaste samwidges it all went bad and poeple started rowing such a shame, and I am missing my mother on the harmonium and Uncle Jules lauhging as he always sees the funny side, I do worry about him and I hope he is all rihgt
And now a massage to Lady Scott who is Molly Bloom and do you think she is my kind of person
1 Aug 2019 03:21
We would‘nt of got some of this in a month of sundae’s and am none the wiser what is wrong with trunk I would like to know but we do’nt care as we heard today they most likely will be letting my mother Freedom home soon so me and the cousins are having a bit of a party before they do, she has now got most of the bandages off and they are saying she does’nt need no more converlessance as it has not been easy to get to Morecambe every week but she is saying the air has done her good she has got the plaster dust off her chest and her breathing is a lot better.
I hope my interest in sex is not unhealthy as my mother says you can catch all sorts just thinking about it so I am often worried but never say
14 Aug 2019 08:37
There were quiet a lot of hard words today but my mother Freedom has soldjered on and got there in the end but that is not the worst of our worries as Uncle Juleses trial comes up next week and it looks like Lady Scott who is usually such a saint ca’t help us out but we have gone ahead and hihgered a minibus to get us there and tents and a stove as there looks like quiet a few nice parks we mihgt be able to go in so was thinking about princess street as it looks big enouhg but would wellcome anyones advice but the main thing is that we are all there to a swage him
22 Aug 2019 10:57
We have not been able to apply our brains to the crossword all week as we have all been worried sick all week with the worry of having to go to court everyday and being told we might of have to leave if we kept shouting out so it has been hard not to as when I saw Uncle Jules for the first time I did’nt reconise him as he had lost so much waihgt and the clothes he had been given did’nt fit and they had give him a haircut and a good shave but he smiled and waived and that was when we was told, but I think after a week of it there is a good chance of him getting off after they heard his side of the story because if the guide in the Museum of Scotland asks you at the end of the tour what is your takehome peice that is just asking for trouble and that is why Uncle Jules tried to walk out with Dolly the Sheep and that was when the terrible fihgt broke out in May and they have kept him locked up ever since as you can do a lot of dammage hitting a security gaurd with a dead sheep as Uncle Jules did saying he was aloud to take it home with him which put him in hospital the guard that is and this all come out in court and we are hoping for a verdict this afternoon with our finger’s crossed and that being the case we are thinking of paying a visit on LadyScott to celebrate as we hope he is not going to cop it
23 Aug 2019 02:15
Tonihgt no one is 20 accross as we are all out cellibrating on the Golden Mile as our prayers have been answered and as we hopped for yesterday Uncle Jules has now been let off and is free so long as he does’nt ever do it ever again and the time he has spent locked up since May all got counted in but he has got to pay to get Doily restuffed but has kindly been given a bit of time to find the money whitch was quiet a lot for just one sheep
So now we will be taking our tents down in Princess Street and going straihgt home for Uncle Juleses sake and so alas and alack Dear LadyS we will be too tied up to come to your house to meet you unless you and your guests can come and find us on Princess street before seven oclock in the morning as that is when we will be leaving and I ca’nt wait to get home and be just a normal family again
27 Aug 2019 07:30
We did’nt get all of it as it was’nt all that easy but we do’nt really mind as we are now glad to be home and trying hard to put all the dark clouds of the Sherriffs Court behind us even if 10 accross come as a terrible reminder of what has happened to Uncle Jules but he has a thick hard shell as do my mother Freedom even thouhg her back has gone after a week on a Lilo because things have started to look up thanks to the welcome we got from everyone who come round and put up strings of bunting and decorated the lampost oppersite and tied yellow ribbons on our knocker while we was away as a supprise and have had a big party that went non stop all over the Bank Holiday thouhg some poeple are not pleased to see us
But the Good News is that we have now got two dogs Uncle Jules bouhgt off a man in a doorway in Princess Street because he could’nt offord to feed them and my Uncle took pity One is big and quiet strong and the man said it’s name is Tyson and best for him to wear a muscle but would make a nice pet in time but the other one is still just a pup so Uncle Jules has called it Princess after where he found it They are Canary Dogs whitch we do’nt really know much about except they are not yellow or golden or anything like that and am asking if anyone here knows about them and can give us some advice as it looks like Tyson could be a bit of a handfull
Ps we are sorry to of missed you yet again dear LadyScott as we had to make a quick gettaway but I am sure we will meet you one day dear Lady perhaps at one of our rally’s as like us you are sometimes up and down the country
24 Dec 2019 08:10
I have just got time as it has all been so hectick for weeks now as we have’nt had no time to do the crossword what with all the rally’s and now today I have to get on with the parsnips and sprouts as my mother Freedom likes them well done to say are these puzzles getting easier and hallo to all our friends especially in australia and newzealand and everywhere else and you know who you are to wish you a happy Christmas even the heathern’s and those that voted the way they did for so broad is my heart and soft my mothers boosum
I had wrote a poem for the occasion called The Tragedy That Is EveryOne’s but I have gone and put it down somewhere and now ca’nt find it but am hoping it will turn up also Uncle Jules who has not been seen since he got his winnings last week and took the bus into town without Tyson or Princess but the cousins have now started to arrive in bulk so I must dash as I can here my mother calling for her first cup of tea, happy christmas
24 Dec 2020 09:19
I could of knew when we saw the one about the court room that My mother Freedom woud say it has not been an easy year for us but we are all still hear just jogging along which is not quite true as she has been in bed for most of it with a long tail and needin waiting on hand and foot and Uncle Jules has been away since the beginning and only got let out last week. So it has all been left to me and with Tyson and Princess to cope with as well. But now we can rejoyce becuase me and Uncle Jules are both sayin that we have got our Freedom back which even my mother can see the funny side of now that she is starting to get better. and She keeps sayin that Uncle Jules has not so much been in lock DOWN but more like lock UP, and we all end up laughing
So now a Merry christmas, and count your Seasons Blessing’s
1 Jan 2021 13:35
Dear FriedFish it is all very well but your offerings of dog hair is not needed as we have got plenty of are own off Tyson and Princess and is a nusance as it gets everywhere and clogs up the hoover, but just to say thank you for changing the way things turned out last night and unbenownst you was a bringer of peace, as we was all having a row over the frankfurters and how we liked are hotdogs best with mustard mayonays Catsup or just plain with or without the onions and was nearly coming to blows when Uncle Jules clicked on your song and it gave my mother Freedom the urge to do it on the harmonium which she has’nt toutched in months due to the long tail sapping her strength. So we helped her onto the stool and she followed the music on the screen and played away trying her best to keep up while me and Uncle Jules was kneeling on the floor either side pumping away as my mother no longer has the strength in her legs herself. So we soon forgot all about the sausages and that was the New Year for you so may the Peace you brought to our house bring Peace all round and put kindness in all our hearts and that means everyone
PS I am sorry I should of replied direct but got in a tizzy over the buttons and I hope this is not a spoiler
11 Jan 2021 01:17
We are still stuck on quiet a few but my mother Freedom is in full voice to-nihgt saying this puzzle is made for us as she has been up before more tribunal’s than most poeple have had hot dinners’ or so she says so we often get poeple nocking on our door sometimes late at nihgt for advice that she is happy to give for free a tot of brandy or some Toblarone But the bad news is Uncle Jules got given a new fixed penalty over the weekend just for trying to help a freind sort out a problem with the electric’s in his cellar him and quite a few others when the police arrived so I expect that will be the next fihgt on our hands and someone from the newspaper’s have allready been round asking a lot of question’s about drinking den’s and what is the use because we have’nt got the money to pay and Uncle Jules is saying the police should of thouhgt of that first or they could of accepted a bottle of something instead but no
13 Jan 2021 01:39
To-nihgt my mother Freedom is disgusting with Uncle Jules in her room and may not be aloud to help them with the puzzle as there are two words in particular she is saying I best not see as she does’nt want me asking awkward questions which is tippical of her sometimes, and I end up wondering if that is a normal way to carry on. Uncle Jules is saying he can’nt see the harm in knowing that the 19 down can be got rid of and that things have got a lot worse in this house with more rows and not much to lauhg about So I shall best have to wait and see in the morning before they wake up. I do’nt know what the other word is
I hope that is not a spioler
18 Jan 2021 01:05
It is always funny how these puzzles can get us lauhging about this and that and often bring back memory’s like when my mother Freedom got in the papers and got called the 13 accross of the North for the way she fouhgt for others who’s voices needed to be heard, but all that is a closed chapter and the Good News is that Uncle Jules has now set us up with Zomb and has touhgt me how to do it so we have spent all day Zombing and singing with only a short brake for samwidges and my mother even played the Harmonium while me and Uncle Jules done the pedals as we are all hoping and praying for her long tail to whither and her strenhgt to come back, by the end of twenty five verses we was all wore out but I am proud to say she was pleased with herself and at the end Uncle Jules put out a plea to all the others to kindly 10 accross us a fiver minimum in an envelope by post so we now have that to hope and pray for as well
27 Jan 2021 02:11
Some of this was easy but some we could never of got without looking but the Good News is that my mother Freedom has stopped crying and is now sitting up and has asked me to look out her best bed jacket and the box of special chocolats left over from Christmas as 5 Down reminded her about them. She has been in bed for days as the truth is she was very decimated when I told her there were poeple saying they would’nt want to Zomb with us and I have had to cope with that ever since which has not been easy along with a weeksworth of very hard puzzles we could’nt do I mean how unfair is that. But the other news is that I have found a letter from the doctor in her handbag to go and get vaxinated that she hid there on purpose as she does’nt want to have it done, it was for last week
I hope that is not a spioler
28 Jan 2021 01:56
Talk about 5 accross my mother has gone and ruined her best lemon bedjacket dozing off with a mouthfull of chocolat then dribbling down it without offering them round so I think it serves her rihgt thouhg I do’nt think I should be saying so, I have tried phoning the doctors sugary about her vacation but first put in a queque and then cut off so no further fourwards on it but Uncle Jules is saying he will put some pressure on to make her see sense as she often listens to him when I ca’nt get thruohg to her myself
We have put donkey in for horse on the beach but we could be wrong
I hope that is not a spioler
1 Feb 2021 01:10
I do’nt care what they think or what they say this puzzle has got a very loud message for my mother Freedom to have her vacation but when I said so Uncle Jules said well he rembers a time when she was always game for a well behaved jab and that set them both off, Then my mother said at least she could be counted on and she never thuohgt much of 7 down anyway, I just wish they would say what they mean and not have their jokes and as I wo’nt be getting anymore sense out of them tonihgt and as I know how it will probably end up and as I do’nt want to waist anymore time I am going off to practice my tambourine in piece
6 Feb 2021 01:06
Uncle Jules has just went out and took Tyson and Princess with him not saying where or when he mihgt be back as he was actully very livid as there is only so much any one can take of my mother Freedoms’ tungue waggling on about 20accross and saying 5 down, thats not how you spell it is it Ju, You should know
I do’nt know what she meant but it was the way she said it and luahging as well thuohg actally she could have a point as she was badly tricked this morning when Uncle Jules said that if she did’nt want the vacation AND the Toblerones AND a new bed jacket he was offering then he was out of here for good but I knew he did’nt really mean it at the time. So she did and has been in bed ever since with her long tail saying how bad she has been feeling all afternoon hot and weak and in any way she had been against all this monkey poo bizzness rihgt from the start, accept now it has all gone wrong as Uncle Jules has gone and worse still he has took Tyson and Princess with him so now we are just the two of us
I hope that is not a spioler
9 Feb 2021 02:26
Well I put Oslo and Parakeat but was wrong and my mother said Vishous for her insides as that was how she was feeling about Uncle Jules and ready to ring his neck if she set eyes on him as he did’nt just walk out in a temper but gone off in his Big Mac with the pockits and is an Oman and all the cash he could lay his hands on the meter money and the cussbox and left us ca’nt going shopping, But the Good News is Tyson has come back as a Kind Niehgbour heard him sat on our doorstep howling at four ocl’ock yesterday morning and come and woke us up and then started shouting since when he has been laying on my mothers bed all day and wo’nt leave her side not even for food, I mean Tyson not the Kind Niehgbour There are a few others we have got wrong or ca’nt think of or spell rihgt like Mary An Tonett but at least we have got him back and I do’nt think we will tell them at the food bank until next week just incase
16 Feb 2021 00:40
This puzzle was quiet hard but here is a new sonnet I have written for today I have called it Flat as a Pancake as you will see why and goes
Hooray Hooray its Pancake Day
The happiest day of the year
So get out you’r Sugar and Lemons
And get out you bottles of beer
And with stoeple bells now ringing
In every bodies ear
Put on your best best coat and hat
And raise a hearty cheer
But I am truely sad to say
This year wo’nt be the same
It will not bring much Cheer at all
And Coronas not to blame
For when frying-pans’ hang by the wall
And Milk comes frozen home in pale
And the Batter yet is still not made
And the Eggs look sad and stale
The kitchen stove must stand unlit
And I have got to say
Its not just this pandemmit
That has took my Joy away
For as Freedom lays a-weeping
And with Uncle Jules not here
The only thing for me to do
Is wait another year
I hope this has not spioled you’r day
18 Feb 2021 01:16
Me and my mother Freedom have just tried this puzzle with a cup of cocoa and a biscuit to cheer her up but it has’nt worked as the words are too hard and we could’nt get any and we need Uncle Jules but now it has started to warm up and I have been out looking for Princess who im sure its her barking but stops when we get anywhere near, I have also been and put photo’s of Uncle Jules up on all the lamposts as we do’nt have any good ones of Princess and hope someone will reconize him instead as it is all a terrible worry. My mother is saying why bother as he has probally wholed up somewhere comftable and as far as she can see my ideas are just more biscuit in the cocoa which is very unkind
I hope that is not a spooler
22 Feb 2021 02:48
Well the musical one was easy as a long time ago they done it at are comunnity center and i had to learn all the words for The Mad Jackal Mister Mustardfleas and All Due to Ron and Me but I was only the under study and never had to do them properly but also helped with the tea at half time but the Big News is that Uncle Jules come knocking this morning but lucky for him it was in the middle of are Sunday Zoom Meeting and as my mother Freedom was just about to lead the singing on the harmonium so it coul’dnt turn into a big row. Uncle Jules just took some stuff from his bedroom draw I do’nt now what and winked at me and left and that is all
I hope that is not a spioler
26 Feb 2021 00:39
So far we have put haduck in for breakfast and my mother Freedom is thinking worm for 7 down as they have’nt got wings and can do a lot of dammage to your insides if you get them but fat chance of getting anything else but I am happy to-nihgt because a nice lady all dressed up in high hill shoes and crisscross stockings and a leper skin coat with a big red berry on her head held on with clips come knokcing on the door with Princess on a bit of rope but I could’nt arst her in so I just had to say thank you on the step, the nice lady said she had been making a niusance of herself wining and whaling in her yard so it must of been her we heard but now Tyson has gone and bit her and now gone under the bed and wo’nt come out even poking with a stick, The nice lady said she was a freind of Uncle Jules and am not to worry about him and then went off quikc towards the playing feild
I hope that is not a spioler
1 Mar 2021 01:46
When we got to the last one accross my mother Freedom smiled and said those were the days mariah those were the days and it is very nice to see her looking happy for ounce but What a day it has been as Uncle Jules come while she was having her after dinner sleep and cleared everything out his bedroom draw into a bag for life and then went off and then to-nihgt I was out for a walk with Tyson and Princess and bumped into Uncle Juleses nice freind only now she got boots and a lather coat on, so we said hallo and she arst if there was alot of buisness up at the playing feild and I said no as most poeple pick up after their dogs but she would find plenty down by the canal so she smilled and give Prince
8 Mar 2021 11:46
Talking about 15 accross it was that the cause of my mother Freedoms relapse on Saturday nihgt after she opened the draw in Uncle Juleses bedroom and found it empty including the toy rabbit she keeps there that she calls her comforter gone and that Uncle Jules has took it. I have never realy seen her rabbit as I am not aloud to go to that draw but i do’nt think it is a real one and I do’nt think it has propper fir but is probally a wind up one or it needs batteries as my mother said he has took them as well as a lot of other things she said was none of my buisness. I said she could try and get a new one off the internet but she just pulled a face and said that Uncle Jules knew all about that sort of thing and I was not to go looking for a toy rabbit on one of those websihgts
So I do’nt understand and I do’nt know what I can do to help and I hope this is not a spioler
14 Mar 2021 12:58
Talking of 8 down I have been up since five taking my mother Freedom her first cup of tea in bed and this went on and on until we was both at bursting but it is Mothers day and I have made her a nice card with a peom I wrote inside to go with her breakfast it goes
Hooray hooray its Mothers Day
I do not mind a bit
To bring you cups of tea in bed
And see your face all lit
It gives me joy to say to you
Its always been your duty
To say how much you care for me
And say I am youre Cutie.
For down the years youve slaved away
Your fingers to the bone
You done your best when times was hard
And you was on your own
To give me all the love that any
Mother could of mustard
So for later on I gone and made
Your favourite bowl of custard.
xxx
PS it is strawberry and I hope that is not a spioler
I was’nt sure how many kisses to put on but in the end I thouhgt three was best so had to rub some of them out
18 Mar 2021 01:24
I done this pizzle all by myself and got the one about my mother Freedoms underware which is 9 accross but nothing else as it was quiet hard now that she has stopped talking to me and I am not talking to her back, but I still think its her to blame for telling me to give her a haircut in the first place. She said she could’nt wait for the barbershops to open again and would I do it with Uncle Juleses electric clipers that he has left here but now she is crying and saying she ca’nt even go on zoom on Sunday morning because of how I of done it, and she wo’nt eat any more of that custard I made so I have finnished it up myself and let Tyson lick out the bowl
I hope this is not a spioler
20 Mar 2021 01:02
In response to spanishscot
Dear Lady Scott I do’nt know about laying down exausted as tonihgt I am going 2Down turning some old curtains into a turbot to put on my mother Freedoms head to hide her haircut when we do the Zoomb on Sunday morning as she is saying that she has never been hurt as bad not even as when she got injured dancing up at the club but she is not helping as she wo’nt touch the tea I take in but turns over and faces the wall, I hope it turns out alrihgt but it mihgt need a bit of ellastic and a few pins to hold it on I will let you know
I hope this is not a spioler
23 Mar 2021 01:06
Well I could’nt get any of the pozzel as it is too hard for me to do but the Good News is the turbot fitted nicely on Sunday morning once I had took off the bandages and tried to clean my mother Freedoms head but how was I to know that I had gone too close with the clipers and taken the tops off some of her warts so there was a lot of shouting, but in the end she did go on zoomb and everyone said how nice she looked and would she play the harmonium for the singing but I think it was the wiehgt of the turbot and the Long Tail together that must of saped her strenght so that half way throuhg she fell backwards off the stall and could’ent get up, So the Bad News is they decided it was best to keep her in at the hospital and I had to bring the turbot home on the bus but the Good News is that tonihgt they are saying she is comftable So now it is just me here on my own and I have let Tyson and Princess in for company
25 Mar 2021 00:34
I nearly got two in today but was wrong about the first and last letters of the personal belongings and could of swore blind the sea snails had an I and ended with an X but I was pleased with nearly getting two as I have also been up the hospital to take a clean bed jacket in to my mother Freedom and she was sitting up in bed thouhg they have told her not to because she said she knew the one in the bed oppersit from years ago when they was dancers working in the clubs together, its a small world is’nt it and her name was Leaner Furbelow and she was in because she had been injured by a rabbit, but when I went across to say hallo I saw she was the same nice lady as in the leper skin coat so its another small world, but I had’nt told my mother that I already knew her, so I smilled nicely and said oh dear and asked how it had happened was it a kick or more likely a punch or had she been bitten but the nice lady rolled up her eyes and said no dearie it was’nt that kind of rabbit so as I did’nt like to ask any more I left my mother Freedom talking to Leaner Furbelow about the good old days and come home on the bus and I hope that all of this is not a spioler
27 Mar 2021 04:02
This is Another one thats too hard for me to do on my own and its no good arsting Tyson or Princess for help lauhg out laud but 17 accross has rembered me that I got a list of stuff my mother wants me to take in as it looks like they want to keep her in longer while they do some tests and look at her tail as it could be helpful so thank you setter. So before I go in today I got to look for her stick her slipers some stockings and see if theres any toblerone, she says no need for a book as she already has the bible someone left behind in her locker but earplugs mihgt come in handy as it can get niosy in there during the nihgt I will have to think of the other things as I left the list on the bus coming home like some rubber bands and nice biscutts but now I ca’nt sleep for thinking about it,, Leaner says she has got someone bringing her stuff in on Sunday so no need to worry dearie
I hope this is not a spioler
28 Mar 2021 13:21
Well I tried my best at this pizzle first thing before the clokcks went on but only got the one about the cat beast and even that was wrong, so I cheated all the rest and now I am worried as the setter has sent warnings of something terrible will happen but I ca’nt think what and have’nt slept much with worry.
I have to say the zoom meeting this morning was not the same without my mother Freedom on the harmonium as it has been a whowle week since her accident but I played the tambourine instead and they all clapped, then poeple said nice things and hoped my mother to get well soon so I am off up the hospital again to tell her what they said, I have made her a special card and forget the crossword, the setter was wrong and we will have a very nice afternoon
I hope that is not a spioler
30 Mar 2021 03:50
I think it must be the 1accrosses but the poeple siting by the bed keep arxting the same questions over and over again and I keep telling them I can’nt rember because all I can rember is seeing Uncle Jules coming in with a big tin of roses and Leaner Furbelow sitting up in bed in her penwahr calling out yoo hoo over hear Jules and waving and when the drugs trolly and tea urn both went over with tablets and hot water evrywhere and the last thing I rember is my mother Freedom shouting and swinging a drip stand round her head as next I have woke up in this room with a lot of bandages and all these questions I ca’nt answer including what is the name of the Prime Minister, as if I should know or care
I hope that is not a spioler
1 Apr 2021 01:14
I said Ghenghiss and they said no the other one but they still keep arxing questions and I am still not rembering a lot but Uncle Juleses tin of roses was first to go flying and having to look after Tyburn and Princess but then my mother Freedom come in to say she has discharged herself as the police say that from the evidence they ca’nt stop her and she is done with all the tests and will just put up with her long tail thank you, but they have still got Uncle Jules and I am in the best place so I said yes but please could she tell me the name of the Prime Minister before she went
I do’nt know and I do’nt care if that is a spioler
2 Apr 2021 01:17
Talk about could not do it for 17down but it is Good News Friday and they are letting me out later on today once the doctors have been round and I can go home whitch is because my mother Freedom come up the hospital last nihgt with a Sun she found on the bus so that I could get the name of the Prime Minister in my head for when they arxt it, the Sun calls him BloJo so thats’ what I said and they smilled and give me a tick, but first they have said I must try and get some sleep But the Best News Friday is that Uncle Jules has been Bound Over to Reside in his Regular Abode which Leaner Furbelow is saying is not in her house as she is not fond of his habits and we are welcome to him, and what is besides she did’nt put Uncle Jules down on the Goverment Sensors last week as living there and she defnately do’nt want more trouble, I could see my mother pull a long face but it was the one whitch means she doe’snt really mean it, so by tea time tonihgt we will all be back together and ready for a proper Easter, but now I am quiet worried as there is something I have’nt told them yet
I hope that is not a spioler
4 Apr 2021 00:28
5down is one of those long words we knew as one of the social workers once used it in a report so that was a big help tonihgt
But I have to say its been nonstop here since we got in doors Good Friday teatime with my mother practising her Easter songs on the harmonium till she was blew in the face, I like the one about the green eel far away but for her the best one is softly softly as sang by Ruby Murry and went on untill the niehgbuors started knoking on the door and told to come in or go away but then Uncle Jules had to go somewhere and he come back with all the things he had took to Leaner Furbelows and some extra but he put his finger up and went Shoosh when I arxt about it, so I have been bussy writting a peome to read over the Zoomb in the morning whitch I have called Ding dong Ring out the Easter Bells but it is’nt quiet finnished, it goes
The Easter Sunday Bells of dear old Rochdale and the dear old ones of woolferampton too
Are ringing out to-day for it is Easter with a message that is meant for me and you
For accross the sea from Ireland and Ashbey dela Z the Bells ring out quiet loud to get the poeple out of bed
For it is Easter Sunday so put on your eggs to boil
And go and hunt for Easter Treats half berried in the soil out in your’e back gardens where the Easter Hare has past
They mihgt be in your flour beds or could be on the grass
And Hark we hear the Bluebells of Scottland ringing clear
From Invarness to Edinbuoruohg and places far and near
With a message for dear England and the poeple of our country to whatch our step and take good care or we could be up a gummtry
And The Bells accross the boarders that are coming from dear Whales
Are singing from the Vallies by those quiers made of males
They hope the sun will shine today upon our Easter Bonnet
But thats enuohg for if you count, this peome is a Sonnet
I hope everyone will like it when I read it over the Zoomb and on Monday i will bring the News of what happened as I still have’nt said to my mother Freedom and Uncle Jules what I have done as I am worried i could be in trouble if I get found out
I hope that is not a spioler
5 Apr 2021 01:00
We got 20 accross striahgt away as it is my mothers favourite Shakesbeer as she says it is very true to life, She took me to see it once as a child and had nihgtmairs for a long time after but I did grow out of them in the end,
After all that peotry last night I sowed some fluowers onto my mother Freedoms turbot as she says her warts are still bad and this morning the egg shells from breakfast went on and everyone on the Easter Zoomb said how nice she looked from behind as she played for them and then I read the peom thuohg I saw two speling mistakes, and everyone claped and wanted more but it was a sonnet so I just read it again
Then we had the hunt for our surprises and I had put a big chocklate Rabbit in the airing cuboard specally for my mother but by time she found it it had melted on some stuff in there so was’nt very pleased, and she had hid a pink rabbit blummonj in a pierex mould behind the dustbins for me but Tyson got there first so was only a taster left nuahgty boy
Then Uncle Jules said to go and look in the draw in his bedroom but I was not aloud but she come out smilling all over and they both could’nt stop luahging, so I thuohgt now was best to get it over with and tell them the easy bit that the nihgt of the Guverment Censor I was in the house on my own and did’nt put Uncle Jules down as he was living at Leaners and Leaner has now said she did’nt put him down either so he must of sliped rihgt thruohg, and they were both luahging more and more abuot it but then when I told them I had’nt put my mothers name down either as she was in the hospital and has also sliped thruohg, I see her face change, but even worst was when I told them that to make up the numbers I put Tyson and Princess down instead and worked out there ages by timesing by seven and I have now found out that what I done was wicked and a seriuos afence and started to cry
My mother Freedom said get the police, I said please do’nt and Uncle Jules said no Free it could do us all a favuor as there are some poeple already wondering if we are real so this could be our chance but best think about it first,
But now it is too late to think abuot anything like that so we are all going to bed to sleep on it thuogh I think Uncle Jules will have to take that rabbit away from my mother and I am going to have to let the dogs out as well
I hope that is not a spioler
5 Apr 2021 01:00
We got 20 accross striahgt away as it is my mothers favourite Shakesbeer as she says it is very true to life, She took me to see it once as a child and had nihgtmairs for a long time after but I did grow out of them in the end,
After all that peotry last night I sowed some fluowers onto my mother Freedoms turbot as she says her warts are still bad and this morning the egg shells from breakfast went on and everyone on the Easter Zoomb said how nice she looked from behind as she played for them and then I read the peom thuohg I saw two speling mistakes, and everyone claped and wanted more but it was a sonnet so I just read it again
Then we had the hunt for our surprises and I had put a big chocklate Rabbit in the airing cuboard specally for my mother but by time she found it it had melted on some stuff in there so was’nt very pleased, and she had hid a pink rabbit blummonj in a pierex mould behind the dustbins for me but Tyson got there first so was only a taster left nuahgty boy
Then Uncle Jules said to go and look in the draw in his bedroom but I was not aloud but she come out smilling all over and they both could’nt stop luahging, so I thuohgt now was best to get it over with and tell them the easy bit that the nihgt of the Guverment Censor I was in the house on my own and did’nt put Uncle Jules down as he was living at Leaners and Leaner has now said she did’nt put him down either so he must of sliped rihgt thruohg, and they were both luahging more and more abuot it but then when I told them I had’nt put my mothers name down either as she was in the hospital and has also sliped thruohg, I see her face change, but even worst was when I told them that to make up the numbers I put Tyson and Princess down instead and worked out there ages by timesing by seven and I have now found out that what I done was wicked and a seriuos afence and started to cry
My mother Freedom said get the police, I said please do’nt and Uncle Jules said no Free it could do us all a favuor as there are some poeple already wondering if we are real so this could be our chance but best think about it first,
But now it is too late to think abuot anything like that so we are all going to bed to sleep on it thuogh I think Uncle Jules will have to take that rabbit away from my mother and I am going to have to let the dogs out as well
I hope that is not a spioler
9 Apr 2021 00:46
Uncle Jules is luahging and saying you do’nt get 1 accross by putting your hands together and I think pray should of been the answer but now my mother Freedom is saying that 13down is a trap and we are not filling it in as you do’nt know who is reading it at the other end and mihgt send someone round knokcking on the door and we can do without more trouble, they have not come out of the room all week except to use the tiolet in the yard as they are now hid and thinking what to do and evrything has been left to me evrything
I hope that is not a spioler
15 Apr 2021 01:28
I do’nt know how much more our nerves can take living like this in darken rooms and the curtains closed up and not even the Zoomb meating on Sunday to lift my mother Freedoms heart and a lot of hard pizzles day after day but tonihgt we are getting somewehere as 7down I done his Bleu Boy in panting by numbers but the trouble was they arst me to fill it in but I got in a muddle with the letters and I have threw away the box but we know what ungents are so that helped as there are a lot of out of date tubes and even some tubs in Uncle Juleses draw mostly for his hemmeroyds that he wo’nt get rid of from ten or more years ago incase they come back bad again and 12down had us all down memory lane that time we had a ralley in Edinbuoruohg and went to find Our Dear Lady Scott so now we are thinking when we can go down the Golden Mile again as we have a lot of new songs to sing next time, we hope and pray it wo’nt be long
I hope that is not a spioler
21 Apr 2021 02:17
We all knew 1 accross and put it in striahgt away because my mother Freedom takes it as medson mostly she says for when her long tail gets on top of her like last Sunday morning when she had to take half a bottle of it before she went on Zomb and then the other half while she was sat playing the harmonium in her turbot so it was very hard for everyone to clap in time, But now I have a dreadful feeling there could be more trouble as they started luahging at the pizzle saying 2 down that was you once Free was’nt it and my mother saying 22 accross is news to her if its a fish and what about 11 down thats your Lena Furbelows is’nt it Jule but he did’nt like it so then he said well yuor not so uncominated yourself Free and I could tell she did’nt like that either and now they are not luahging any more So I have left them to sort theirselfs out and I am going off to learn my new peace’s for the tambourine show that I have enterd but I have a few jobs to do first as no one else will do them if I do’nt
I hope that is not a spioler for 6 down
1 May 2021 01:50
With all that peotry the other day I thuohgt I would write something special but really it is a song for the harmonium and tambourine so you will have to imagine that, we are going to zomb it on Sunday but by then the lesson will be too late it goes
Hooray hooray for the first of May
Cast off your winter woolies
And run to the meadows to dance and sing
Without your vests and pullies
Thouhg underneath your dirndls you
Are free from winter bloomers
Do not put yourself in danger
Of a cold or other rhumers
For the price of antics with your mates at dawn
Can be a chill in the nates and looking for lawn
I hope that is not a spioler
10 May 2021 01:14
We got one or two straihgt away but could’nt really get propperly started on it as it was a bit too hard and no help when the setter ca’nt even spell rihgt like number 11 accross but no trouble with number 18 accross as my mother Freedom says theres no shortage of the likes of them round here and has seen the arae go down since we moved in and says the counsle needs to do something about it
I have been busy writting more peotry and started one last week but when I said it to my mother she said it was Infantile and Uncle Jules was luahging so I stopped and went for a long walk with Tyson and Princess instead I will be glad when this lockdown is all over
The peom went
Hooray hooray its Voting Day
Get out your best rosets
Red Bleu and Yellow
And pin them on youre vests
And vote for them you think will make
This world a better place
And joy to poeple evrywhere
And smiley smiley face.
But rember that is just the start and is not finished
and I hope that is not a spioler
13 May 2021 10:52
Number 4 down rembers me of getting the boat over to the I’ll of White to go and see Uncle Jules the time he was staying in Pankhurst but I have to say it was’nt the Red sea but more Greenie Grey but we got on better with this pizzle than others lately but my mother Freedom is sad and saying it makes her rember the happy times like when we could afford backed potato for tea and propper bioled sweets from the market on a Saturday but not anymore as they have now stopped all her benefits and she says my benefits alone are not enuohg for us to manage on including Tyson and Princess and it is too dangerous for Uncle Jules to leave the house to do anything as he mihgt get cuahgt so I am hopeing the winds will change and good fortune smile down on us soon for today it is Assention Day and every one on Sunday Zoomb is meeting up the top of the hill for real and letting balloons off with messages of joy and hope tied on for anyone who finds them I am tying a short peom onto mine it goes
Hip hip hooray
For Assention Day
These words go far and near
To bring good luck
To you my friends
Its been a terrible year
So take a shilling from your purse
Or more if you can spare
And send it in an envolope
To the address I have wrote just here.
So keep youre eyes open and if you find it you will know its me and you mihgt be able to help us out as things are a bit tihgt at the moment I hope that is not a spioler and not begging
21 May 2021 02:15
We have allmost done this pizzle so I think our luck could of changed but the bad news is my mother Freedom has been in bed a week quitely crying until yesterday when the good news hit her and she sat up on her pillars and said that is what we must do because if Saint Jude wo’nt help us nobody else will so I went to find a box of candles from somewhere and a box of matches from somewhere else and then the old Beetles record and just kept playing it and singing over and over all night and Uncle Jules jioned in with his youkerlaylee and I got my tambourine out thuohg my mother Freedom was’nt well enuohg to play the harmonuum but I think our prayers could of been answered today as my mother got an email from Primark saying she has been chosen to get nearly £2 Thousand pounds for being a loyal customer and wanting all the details so that they can pay her so I have wrote back and filled in everything they wanted to know so it could be that St Jude mihgt of heard us calling especially as Tyson and Princess have also lost wiahgt with not enuohg to eat
I hope that is not a spioler